The ‘Friendship Recession’: Why Making Friends as an Adult Is Harder Than Ever & How to Overcome It

Introduction: The Decline of Adult Friendships

In a world more connected than ever, loneliness is paradoxically on the rise. Experts are calling it the "friendship recession"—a growing social crisis where adults struggle to form and maintain meaningful friendships. Unlike childhood or college years, where friendships seem to develop effortlessly, adulthood presents a host of challenges that make forging deep connections increasingly difficult.

From demanding careers to shifting social dynamics, the traditional ways of making friends are fading, leaving many feeling isolated and disconnected. But why is this happening, and what can be done about it?

What Is the ‘Friendship Recession’?

The term "friendship recession" refers to the steady decline in the number and quality of friendships among adults. Studies show that more people than ever report having fewer close friends, experiencing increased loneliness, and struggling to build new social connections.

A recent survey by the American Enterprise Institute found that the number of Americans who say they have no close friends has quadrupled since 1990. Meanwhile, a Harvard report labeled loneliness as a public health crisis, linking it to mental health struggles and even increased mortality rates.

Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult?

1. The Demands of Work & Family Life

As adults, career ambitions, family responsibilities, and personal commitments leave little room for socializing. Unlike school or college, where friendships are naturally built through daily interactions, adult life requires intentional effort to maintain connections.

2. The Decline of Third Places

Sociologists refer to "third places"—locations outside of home and work where people gather to socialize (e.g., cafes, parks, religious institutions, and community centers).

• With the rise of remote work, digital entertainment, and urbanization, these spaces are disappearing, making casual social interactions less frequent.
• Instead of meeting friends organically, many now rely on structured activities or digital connections, which often lack the depth of in-person relationships.

3. The Rise of Digital Connection (and Its Downsides)

Social media has transformed how we interact, but it can’t fully replace real-world friendships.

• While platforms like Instagram and TikTok keep people updated on each other’s lives, they often lead to surface-level interactions rather than deep emotional bonds.
• Excessive screen time has also been linked to decreased face-to-face communication skills, making people more anxious about real-world socializing.

4. Social Anxiety & Fear of Rejection

Unlike childhood, where friendships develop effortlessly, making friends as an adult often requires stepping out of your comfort zone. Many people struggle with:

• Fear of rejection—Worrying about whether the other person will reciprocate.
• Social exhaustion—Feeling too drained after work or responsibilities to engage socially.
• Lack of confidence—Not knowing how to approach new people or maintain conversations.

5. People Are Moving More Frequently

Unlike previous generations, today’s adults are more likely to relocate for work, education, or lifestyle changes, making long-term friendships harder to maintain. The transient nature of modern life means people constantly need to rebuild their social circles, which can be exhausting.

How to Make and Maintain Friendships as an Adult

The good news? While making friends as an adult requires effort and intentionality, it’s absolutely possible. Here’s how:

1. Prioritize Socializing Like Any Other Commitment

• Treat friendships like appointments—schedule regular meetups just as you would work meetings or workouts.
• Even small efforts, like checking in via text or planning a coffee meetup, help maintain relationships.

2. Join Communities & Interest-Based Groups

• Hobbies are one of the best ways to naturally meet like-minded people.
• Join a book club, fitness class, or volunteer group where you can meet people with shared interests.
• Apps like Meetup, Bumble BFF, and local Facebook groups help people find new social circles.

3. Be Open to Reconnecting with Old Friends

• Many of us have dormant friendships—people we once had strong connections with but drifted apart from.
• Sending a simple message to reconnect can often revive old friendships.

4. Develop Stronger In-Person Communication Skills

• Practice being present in conversations—put away your phone, make eye contact, and show genuine interest.
• Learn the art of small talk—it’s the bridge to deeper conversations.

5. Don’t Be Afraid to Make the First Move

• Many people assume others are too busy or not interested, but most are just as eager to form friendships.
• Take the initiative—invite someone for coffee, plan a casual get-together, or suggest an activity.

Final Thoughts: Investing in Meaningful Connections

The friendship recession is real, but it’s not irreversible. While modern life presents challenges, the key to building lasting friendships is intentionality, effort, and vulnerability. Strong social connections don’t just improve emotional well-being—they enhance overall health and happiness.

If you’ve been feeling lonely, know that you’re not alone. Take small steps, put yourself out there, and prioritize human connection. The effort is always worth it.